“It’s gonna be a blue Christmas without
you”, sang Elvis.
Christmas is supposed to be happy,
a joyful time with family or friends - at
least, that’s what it looks like on all the ads you see this time of year. But what if you’re dreading
Christmas ?
The first year after a loved one dies, all those milestone moments in the year are very hard – birthdays, holidays, – and, of course, Christmas. The empty place at the table is very hard to deal with. In recent years many Churches have
begun to put on special services called “Blue Christmas” – these happen early
in December, and they are for people who are facing Christmas alone for the first time, or for whom Christmas brings back feelings of shock or sadness, instead of joy and celebration.
My Dad always used to come to my
house for Christmas. We would go to my Chapel for the morning service. Back
home, he always made me put my feet up while he cooked the chicken. Then we
opened presents and watched a movie, like most families do, and all was right
with the world.
When he died, it was only two
months before Christmas, and I was at a loss – the house would seem so empty
without him. But then some friends –
another vicarage family – invited me and my son to go and join them. So after Chapel on Christmas day, we drove down to the coast, and while there I
helped out with their Church services and activities. Although I shed a few tears for my Dad, being busy, and
having different company, helped me not to collapse into
sadness.
We shouldn’t bottle up grief – we need
to cry, and to talk about it – but we also need ways to get through each day.
Breaking the routine, and finding small ways to help other people, takes us out
of ourselves and keeps us connected to the world while we live through bereavement
or loss.
So if you’re facing a Blue
Christmas this year, find out if your Church has a Blue Christmas service. Maybe you could celebrate Christmas in a
different way or a different place this year? And then see whether there’s
something you could do for others – helping out at a soup kitchen or food
pantry for instance, or join in some Church activity you don’t normally get
involved in. Giving something to others is just one way to fight away the dark
shadows, until light reappears on the horizon.
This Advent reflection was broadcast on BBC Radio 2 "Good Morning Sunday" on December 9th, 2012.